Small Slippery Balloons

‘Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.’

Early in our relationship, my partner, Patrick, and I took a trip to Monterey. As Patrick likes alcohol and I like receiving unadulterated attention from sad, wistful men, we both enjoy sitting at bars. A block away from our charming hotel, we found a run-of-the-mill tourist trap of a drinking establishment, at which we promptly threw our money in…